M”Help me!” That was the last word I could remember saying as I passed out. I opened my eyes to find myself in the hospital, What has happened? How did I get here? Why is my mom sobbing quietly… and all of a sudden I got my answers as memories of that devastating ordeal rushed in… and I broke down in tears, I couldn’t believe what just happened to me…Why did GOD allow me to be raped? What kind of punishment is this? How could He just watch me and do nothing… my heart was broken! The subsequent weeks were so terrible as I became a shadow of myself, I hardly spoke to anyone or laugh about anything and to think that the news that I was raped by 3 guys spread like wild fire was horrible. These boys were supposed to be my friends, I didn’t see it coming. I was friend with one of them because we met at my Jamb coaching class (Jamb is a university entrance exam done in my country), and even though I didn’t agree to go out with him we just stayed as friends… “so I thought. It was a Friday and He invited me for his birthday party at his house. After our classes in the evening around 5pm, I decided to just stop by on my way home; I had been to his place severally when I needed to borrow a book or something, I got familiar with his siblings, even his mom knew me as a colleague to her son, so I felt very comfortable just stopping by that day and I didn’t think I should be telling my parents of my little stop over. I had planned to spend 10 mins max, just to register my presence and head straight home didn’t know it was a set up… I didn’t suspect a thing “hmmn…”, I got into the house and I didn’t see anyone but himself and some friends, I asked about his family and he told me they were on their way to a camp for a night vigil, that story didn’t click well on my head, I was on my way out under the pretence to get credit for my phone when he persuaded me to at least take a little juice before I left, I guess he knew I was not going to come back, since I was thirsty I sipped the drink from the disposable cup he gave me and before I knew it I wasn’t myself, I could see him and his friends coming close to me, one of them pushed me to the floor, I was a little bit alert to know what they were about to do and with my last conscious strength I shouted “help me.” That was the last I remembered… My mom told me when I didn’t come home on time that evening, (very unlike me) she and my younger brother decided to come look for me at the Jamb class and found me lying unconscious in one of the classroom, 3 of them had had turns raping me. I think they felt I was dead that’s why they careful carried me into the class, since it was already dark and nobody would really see me. Moreso, the jamb school was always open to those who wanted to read. How they bypass the security is still a misery to me. It pained my heart because I was a virgin before the incidence and I blamed myself terribly for the incidence (most rape victims do), I even allowed others blame too and even though the guys were arrested and put behind bars, I never got myself, I attempted suicide 3 times, I was depressed for many years and lost everything left of my self esteem..I knew my mom was always praying for me, but I never prayed anymore because I was mad at God. When I got admission into the university, I started going into relationships I knew I never needed because I was hurting and I needed someone to make it ok, to make me feel normal, but they made it worse each time they broke up with me. Some said I was too”needy” I was more of a “burden”, I was too “suspicious”, this trend of heart breaks went on and on. One day I was at a salon and a radio programme was airing, they were discussing rape, I can’t remember the name of the presenter, all I remembered she said was that “you are a queen! Don’t allow life take away your crown…fight for your crown, you are not to be blamed for what happened to you” …those words were soothing. That was it, it made sense. That was what I needed, I went back to GOD and got therapy/counselling too and the Lord started dealing with me in the area of forgiveness and bitterness. As I began to let go of the resentments, my healing started… I discovered that a rumbled 100 dollar note is still as valuable as newly printed 100 dollar note…in GOD”S eyes I’m still the same, He doesn’t love me less. So that’s my story Dr Kenny, I hope your teens find it uplifting, it’s been 9 years since that ordeal and have been restored even helping others gain their freedom too. One of the worse thing you can ever say to a rape victim is “it was your fault”. There is no excuse for anyone to take advantage of any person, real men don’t rape! If you have ever been abused don’t stay quiet, make sure you talk to a counsellor, don’t bury the hurt you feel. Get help, GOD heals and He also uses people to help you as well. You will shine again, you will laugh again…see you at the top. NB: if you need counselling feel free to reach us through our contact…we love you!