A secret is an adjective, which means to keep hidden or to withhold information from others.
Some secrets are very harmful and destructive when kept hidden from loved ones especially your parents. Having secrets is widespread among teenagers, especially girls. But teens who share their secrets in confidence with parents and loved ones have fewer headaches and depressed moods and are more confident in social situations than others who keep secrets to themselves, according to a report in the medical Journal of Adolescence.

Sometimes you tell yourself that you are on top of a situation, but majority of the time it escalates and blow up on your face bringing huge embarrassment to you and those who love you, at other times when you even succeed at hiding these secrets, it hunts you and causes more fatal consequences in  your future.

This post is aimed at helping us teenagers (I CHOOSE TO BE ONE TODAY) highlight just few points of such harmful secrets capable of destroying our future.

 #FIRST HARMFUL SECRET

If you have ever been assaulted, raped, sexually abused or molested in any way or form, either by a close relative, a neighbor, a friend, a teacher, etc, even if it was when you were a child, or even now that you are a teenager…please find strength to tell your parent.

I would agree with you that some of our parents are not as patient, or are too busy to be sensitive to us when we seek audience with them. However, if you are in this position, then I would further advice you summon courage to confide in a trusted adult.

WHY?

Any form of sexual abuse has deteriorating psychological effect on an individual, some begin to manifest later in life,in form of depression, low self esteem, marital/relationship problems,the list goes on…

There is therapy in opening up, it helps destroy the grip of fear or guilt this sexual abuse has had or is having over you, which has been empowered by the secrecy…

even the bible says the “truth will sets you free”.

Get freedom, don’t suffer in silence. It was never your fault you were abused ,and no one has the right to abuse you sexually.
If the abuse is still going on, it can be stopped. It’s never late.

#SECOND  HARMFUL SECRET

IF YOU BEGIN TO FEEL ATTRACTED TOWARDS THE OPPOSITE SEX,WHICH MAKES YOU CONFUSED, PRESSURIZED OR OVERWHELMED

As we grow into adolescence, several changes begin to take place in our body, due to hormonal changes.
Hormones are chemical substances that stimulate reactions and trigger growth in the body. The male sex hormone is known as testosterone. The female sex hormones are estrogen and progesterone. In both guys and girls, these hormones are produced by the pituitary gland, a tiny pea-sized gland located in the base of the brain.

Puberty is the period of growth from childhood to adulthood; it is during this time that people become physically able to produce children. Individuals going through puberty experience LOTS of changes, physically, socially, mentally, and emotionally. So what is it that causes all these crazy changes in your body?..HORMONES!for example;
Girls begin to change physically,with the developments of breasts, accumulation of fats around the waist, commencement of menstruation, etc and for the boys – development of broader chest, deepening of voice , growth of hairs under armpits, genital region..Etc.
I must say here it’s quite normal to begin to notice a pretty girl in your class and a cute boy that stays down the street, but how you manage this phase is very important, you need to be guided so as not to act on this feelings of attraction which could be very misleading.
I can imagine you giggling reading this,..you say doc!, ‘ how can I tell my father who is a pastor that I am beginning to get attracted to the new boy in my class’…lol(lots of laughter)
It was not that easy for me as well, thank God I had a teenage counselor in church then who helped me clarify what I was feeling, I was then made to know the difference between having a crush, and being in love and how to manage it.  I was helped to channelize my raw hormonal energy into something more constructive, I was able to redirect and focus on my priorities which was my academics at that time.
More importantly, I also got real support to withstand the pressure not to date that early from the lord. With time, the crush I had died a natural death like it always does..

What if I kept quiet and remain confused, the crush could have developed into a full fleshed lust and I might have made lots of mistakes, maybe I won’t be here now trying to inspire greatness in you.
So guys, i know it’s embarrassing, but you must summon the courage to talk to a trusted adult whose lifestyle conforms to that of Christ, even if you can’t bring yourself to tell your parents.
For parent reading this, let’s try to always keep the channel of communication open..It’s an art we must all learn and develop. It’s better they learn from you than their peers.

#THIRD  HARMFUL SECRET
If peradventure, you get pregnant as a teenager or you impregnated a girl please don’t hide it from your parent. A lot of teens because of fear and shame,  don’t tell their parent. They go in for the next convenient option, which is abortion-taking a life that you have not created.
Many have died and ended their life’s journey prematurely causing heartaches for loved ones.

Read this news- a story from Ghana about a 14 years old who died after an abortion.

http://www.spyghana.com/girl-14-died-from-unsafe-abortion/

Abortion poses a lot of threat to your child bearing abilities in future,  it also causes infections, gives a lot of guilt and depressive feelings .The devil capitalizes on the guilt to make it difficult for you to accept forgiveness and have a strong intimate relationship with God.
There are people out there, who will take advantage of your naivety, to destroy what’s left of your innocence, and thrive on your ignorance.
No matter how far you have fallen, God can still forgive you and give you a second chance.

#FOURTH  HARMFUL SECRET
If you are having problems in your academics, and not coping well in school
Or you are not happy in your current class, even when you are having good grades .e.g. you love art class but you are in the science class because you don’t want to let down your parents’ dreams of you being an aeronautic engineer.
Discuss with your parents, if you feel they won’t understand you or criticize you, get your teachers involved..
Don’t study a course for the happiness of your parent, find out what you like to do, get your parents involved and go for it.

#FIFTH HARMFUL SECRET
If you have any kind of addiction, like masturbation, pornography, alcoholism, smoking, sexting, stealing.Etc speak out!!!

I know telling your parents some of these will really upset them, so try confiding in a trusted person, like your pastor, a big brother or sister figure(they would direct you to right place to find help),counselor
Know that your parent care about you and they can’t disown you,they love you so much,even when you don’t get along with them,never forget they have your interest at heart.
I hope no parent will yell or beat-up his or her teenage child for confiding in them about any addiction  they have. That’s why we encourage every parent to try to be well informed about normal trends of teenagers ,you can only know this by talking with them.If you are clueless about something  your teenager has shared with you ,ask questions, seek counsel about it.Don’t help your teen keep a deadly and harmful secret..i am not saying you should betray your child’s confidence, but there are some issues that you both will have to agree to seek external help for.

#SIXTH HARMFUL SECRET

If you are being bullied in school, victimized or harassed in any way either by a teacher/lecturer,  a group, an individual
Talk to your parent or loved one, don’t try to fight back on your own.
Bullying has caused some teenagers to join secret groups.

If you belong to any secret society, or you have been initiated into any kind of cult,  or you are been pressured to join a clique, a gang,  speak out and find help in God.

#SEVENTH HARMFUL SECRET

If you are confused about your sexual orientation. Or you have been introduced into homosexual-ism and lesbianism, please confide in a loved one or your pastor, and get help before it becomes a stronghold, and if it’s a lifestyle you have started already, you can be freed and your wholeness restored.

God made them “Adam and eve” not “Adam and Steve”

I encourage you to be brave,  you have a great future ahead you don’t have to remain a slave to secrets that cripple you each time you remember. talk to Jesus,  he loves you, he hears you. shalom. 

A HEALTHY TEEN produces A HEALTHY ADULT, who becomes A GREAT ASSET TO GOD AND GENERATIONS.

for questions ,prayers,and counseling,feel free to reach us
teens.aflameofficial@gmail.com